Enjoying homelife as a couple is one of life’s more delightful milestones – but there are some challenges to overcome when combining two households

Talking about moving in

Communication is so important in the early days of a relationship. The initial stages of love are as much about discovering shared values as they are about romance. So talk – find out which values you share, and where you differ. Here are some conversations you may wish to have before you move in with someone.

Which of your possessions are non-negotiable?

Moving in together means moving two sets of possessions into one space. Some domestic goods will be things that you both like, need and want.

But others will be things that only one of you loves. How will you handle novelty gifts from former colleagues, or ugly items of furniture inherited from a much-loved relative? Tolerance and patience and quiet acceptance are your friends here.

And most people have things that they want, but don’t use all the time – for example, seasonal decorations, cold-weather clothing or equipment for activities that you only do occasionally. If you know you’re going to be short on space, these ‘occasional’ items might be better off in a storage unit.

You may also find you’ve got a number of duplicated possessions – for example, saucepan sets or bedding. Rather than immediately getting rid of them, you could consider storing them away, perhaps for a limited time until you know you’re sure about committing to the relationship in the long-term. A self-storage unit is ideal for short-term or temporary storage and Store and Insure’s self-storage insurance is set up so that you can insure your stored goods for a fixed period. Get a quote to see how much self-storage insurance should cost you.

Thinking about taste in a shared living space

Take some time to consider what decorating styles you prefer. If one of you aspires to a minimalist style and the other prefers a more visually exciting look, you have a challenge – but there may be ways to ensure you both get what you want.

Using space in your shared home

When you’re deciding where to live with your partner, talk about what space you need for hobbies and other important activities. Do you need a separate room where you can work from home? Do you need indoor space for a craft, or for exercising? Do you need outdoor space or storage?

Although falling in love means you can’t get enough of the other person, everybody needs some time alone – some people more than others. How will you get that time? Will you mind if you have to leave your shared flat to get it, or do you need a room where you can shut the door and have some me-time?

Coping with chores as a couple

Tolerances for mess and tidiness vary enormously. Hopefully, if you’ve spent time in each other’s homes, you’ll know if you’ve been dating someone who is a lot messier (or a lot tidier) than you.

Before you move in together, think about how you’re going to divide the housework. Leaving it all to one person is a route to resentment and disappointment.

Finances and your relationship

Widely different approaches to earning, spending and saving don’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed, but it does help if you are both pulling together. The key to a successful relationship with money, and with each other, is to talk finance. Be honest about debts before you move in together, and decide early on how you’re going to deal with bills.

It's also a good idea to understand your legal rights, particularly if one of you is paying towards the other’s mortgage. Citizens Advice has some information that may be helpful.

Some couples do very well on shared finances; others like to keep things separate, perhaps using a shared account for household business. Keeping your finances separate might be wise when you first move in together, until you’re sure things are going to work out for you.

Keeping things fun and romantic when you live together

Finally, keep in mind the whole reason you have moved in together: hopefully, it’s because you enjoy each other’s company. Planning fun, pleasurable things – whether it’s a film night, a fun day out or a special meal – will keep your relationship on solid ground.