Breaking up a relationship is never going to be easy (although you may feel better for it in the long run) but when you live together, there are a few extra complexities to deal with. Once you’ve had the difficult conversation with your soon-to-be ex-partner, it’s time to take practical steps to move your life on.
Managing your emotions when you break up
Emotions like anger, sadness, guilt and feeling stuck are common at the end of a relationship. If you can, avoid wasting time and energy on blaming your partner or trying to punish them. Equally, avoid being over generous out of guilt.
Seeking support when leaving a relationship
A strong support system is important when you leave a cohabiting relationship. Friends and family can support you by listening and helping you to manage your emotions. They can also offer practical help.
You and your ex may be able to agree between yourself about how to divide your belongings and money. But consider whether you need support from an expert, such as a solicitor or a mediator to ensure a fair deal.
Finding a place to stay
If you can’t bear to stay living with your ex even temporarily, reach out to friends and family to see if anyone can offer you a spare bed until you’ve sorted yourself out. Failing that, use a hotel or short-term rental to give yourself somewhere safe to stay.
Moving your stuff out after a relationship ends
Some people can move their stuff quickly using a small car – others might need a bit more time and resource. Our blogpost has some house moving tips that might help.
Self-storage can help if you want to move out before you have somewhere to go. It means you have somewhere secure to put your stuff while you find a permanent place to live. When you insure your stored goods with Store and Insure, you only pay for the time your things are in storage.
Who do you need to tell when you move out?
Separating from your partner and moving out will leave you with some admin. Here are some examples of organisations and bodies that will need to know about your change of status.
You should let the landlord or housing office know about your change in circumstances, or your mortgage lender. It may also affect your benefits, so it’s important to inform the benefits office.
Your status as a single person may affect the way you are taxed (including council tax), so inform the tax office.
Contact utilities providers to ensure you are not liable for bills after you’ve moved out from your partner’s home.
Talk with your bank, particularly if you have a joint account. This is to ensure your partner does not draw out money that is not theirs. Any debts for which you hold joint responsibility, such as hire-purchase or a credit card, will need sorting out too.
Check in with any insurance companies with which you have joint policies.
You’ll need to give any healthcare organisations, such as your GP and dentist, notification that you’ve changed address.
Get your post re-directed by telling the Post Office. And ensure the DVLA has up-to-date details.
Where to go for more information
Citizen’s Advice has some help for people who are separating. Talk to them if your situation is at all complicated – for example, if you think moving out will have an impact on your benefits, or if you are having difficulty finding a place to live.
If you are concerned because your partner is threatening you, seek help from a domestic abuse service. Women should use Refuge or Women’s Aid. Men can turn to Men’s Advice Line.
Breaking up is never easy…
But if you can get away from the shared space, you may find it helps to bounce back from the heartbreak more quickly and get on with taking your life in the right direction.
